Getting Over First Love: Learn to become better partners
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A guy (we'll call him Gregg) and I like each other a lot, and have talked about a future relationship. But we have a mutual friend (we'll call her Joanna) that has had a past relationship with him. This relationship didn't end well for Joanna and she continues to hurt well after the relationships end.
She wasn't pleased and has decided to take both of us on a guilt trim. She claims to be the only one that could ever love Gregg as much as she does. I know this isn't true but I remain to be the bigger woman and not get mad at her for her feelings and what she is saying. I care about her but if she is going to be this way I will let her be until she cools down.
Learn to become better partners, even better lovers.
So Joanna “ had a past relationship with him ” . Keep in mind too, that some people have a relationship with someone, but only in their heads; no real relationship existed. But in their minds, they had one.
If both you and Gregg think pursuing each other is worth the tension it will cause, no one can stop you. But good luck with it, because Joanna will not be easy to reckon with for either of you. Be extremely careful if you start dating.
You will find yourself angry at tiny little imperfection
Something like this can push an already unstable person, or even a fairly stable person “ over the edge ” .
This is very tricky and there is no way to keep that friendship between the three of you if you and Gregg start dating. If both you and Gregg are willing to lose Joanna as a friend, then go ahead and date.
Having a successful relationship is all about working at it
Bottom line: If you feel Joanna will not find the way to keep that friendship between the three of you and will “ do something drastic ” then you and Gregg both have to ask yourselves if seeing each other would be worth a drastic outcome.
Some time needs to pass. Otherwise, it will look to Joanna as if you were the cause of his breakup with Gregg. For more tips about backing off a friend from your relationship, refer to e-books in the series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
Get an inside look at what you will learn:
- Learn to become better partners, even better lovers.
- DO you find yourself angry at tiny little imperfections in a relationship?
- Negotiate between the need for connection and the need for freedom - both helping each other out.
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