Friendship vs. relationship: nurturing true romantic love
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I met this man about two months ago but we really only started talking within the last couple weeks. My problem is that he is sending mixed signals.
Signal one is the relationship signal. I'm talking about the “ Come over and have dinner with my family ” , “ Call and wake me up in the morning ” type.
The other signal is flirtatious; basically whenever we hang out we hold a conversation for a while then just end up fooling around. I'm looking to get to know him better and would like to pursue a relationship.
Extend your boundaries and explore new possibilities in a relationship
For true (romantic) love, the other should be at least a best friend, satisfying all expectations for such a friend (understanding, acceptingly tolerant, loyal, etc...).
If you mean physical / intimate bodily contact, it seems you are already in a relationship, as you don't just “ fool around ” with all your other friends.
Ideal love would resemble a spiritual awakening
Given the rarity of this ideal and the preciousness of true friends, however, most of us could settle quite well for romance with a trustworthy confidant.
The passionate aspect of love, which can be so enticing, is something that could develop out of a close friendship. It is too often the case that people fall in love and are very passionate about each other but unless they are capable of being each others friend as well, they would find that when the novelty wears off they have nothing to share.
Lust is the purely physical attraction
Bottom line: Another way to find out without asking is just to lay low by cutting back on phone calls. If he responds by saying “ where are you? ” or “ why have you not called? ” , that means he is hoping for something more serious.
If he asks those questions, that would be a perfect time for you to say you weren't sure what kind of relationship he wanted. That will open the door for him to tell you what he wants. For more tips about nurturing true (romantic) love, refer to e-books in the series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
Get an inside look at what you will learn:
- Extend your boundaries and explore new possibilities in a relationship.
- Ideal love would resemble a spiritual awakening.
- How to differentiate between lust true (romantic) love?
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