Can one be in a relationship that started as a friendship?
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I have been seeing a particular man. We started out relationship out under the pretense of being purely platonic though he was aware from the start that I had obvious romantic interest in dating him. He insisted that we could go out, but that it would be just friendly contact and no romance, because he wasn't ready for the stress of a relationship at this point in his life.
A couple months later, we were are a point where I felt that I was getting signals that indicated romantic interest on his behalf. Applying my female logic to the situation made things worse, leaving me to believe that he just COULDN'T be in a relationship that started as friendship.
Setting yourself up for heartbreak
Unfortunately, it sounds like you so much want a relationship out of his friendship that you're willing to ignore or disregard his explicit comments in favor or reading signals from him.
A true relationship takes two people. No matter how much you want a relationship with this man, if he's not interested, you should move on. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment when things don't turn the way you want them to - even though he's warned you.
Sex is a powerful part of any relationship
Friends are valuable and precious. But that's not all you want out of this relationship, do you? You're not satisfied with what you have, so you're pushing, though gently, for more.
It does sound like he's responding to your particular advances because they make sense to him - they're what he's used to. It sounds like he's terribly confused, to be basing a relationship on a foundation of sex. Now mind you sex is a powerful part of any relationship, but it's not what should come first. It sounds like you know that.
Signs and excuses if a man is not ready for a relationship
Bottom line: The fact that he's warned you many times that he's not ready for a relationship makes me think that at some level, he's aware of it too, and probably trying to figure out a new way of working relationship. Or maybe he's stuck repeating the same old pattern.
Unfortunately old habits die hard - and even when one knows they're self-destructive, it can take a long time to change. For more tips about turning friendship into relationship, refer to e-books in the series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
Get an inside look at what you will learn:
- Are you setting yourself up for heartbreak?
- Why sex is a powerful part of any relationship.
- Signs and excuses if a man is not ready for a relationship.
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