Guide To Approaching Men: The Path Of Least Resistance
What are the essentials of a lasting relationship? Which signs are pointing out that relationship is going to develop in a long term love and friendship?
Essentials of Long-Lasting Relationships
When you're in love fully, to the extreme throes of passion, it's wonderful.
Describing it is next to impossible, it’s like taking an adrenaline shot and then bungy jumping. The passion of an intense love is incredible.
I believe that everyone has someone out there. Some find them easily, some do not. Not everyone can feel passion, however.
Opening yourself to a relationship
Opening yourself to a relationship so fully that you actually lose your mind is a dangerous, scary and exhilarating thing.
It can be wonderful. But passion isn't enough.
There comes a time when that bright passion that carried you along fades a little. Sometimes, it just vanishes.
Where are you then?
If all that your relationship consisted of was big passionate moments, you might start to feel differently.
It has been said that men can sense when a woman lacks confidence and will reject her on that score. As a result, the woman becomes even less confident, which leads to even less confidence.
So given all this, is there any sure-fire way that a person can regain lost confidence or overcome shyness without the help of another person to see beyond the surface?
I've found shyness often comes from being worried about what others think of you.
How to gain confidence with men?
There is one simple yet effective "technique" for getting rid of shyness. Just stop caring what others think of you. Hey, it worked in my case!
You start in small steps. Make small talk. Can't get shot down for an approach when you're not approaching. Just learn to relate with men as human beings who make conversation.
Small things turn into big things because people don't effectively communicate. Effective communication includes empathy, sympathy, honesty, compassion, understanding, compromise and unity.
Don't let fear cripple you ever.
Do not be afraid to say something. You will regret more wanting to have said something but never having said it than saying something that resulted in rejection.
Speak with your feelings and if the other person cannot appreciate that, move on.
Being a friendly person makes you desirable for the opposite sex
Be charming, somewhat elusive and unpredictable at first.
Don't play games after the "playing games" portion of dating is concluded, though. People who play endless games don't make for very good partners.
It's really very simple. Just go strike up a conversation with him. You probably know something that the two of you already have in common, so go talk to her about that.
That is assuming you two already know each other a little and aren't complete strangers.
If you are, then I would suggest a simple introduction at first.
Then you can follow that up with a few casual flirt smiles; and then go strike up that conversion. Simply put, the worst thing that can happen in the first place.
On the other hand, the best that can happen...
Well, that's an entirely different subject...
So in other words, you've got nothing to loose and everything to gain. So just go for it.
When talking to him, don't worry about making any kind of impression. Don't try to think of what you'll say before you say it. Just be you 100% and if that’s what he likes, then you'll get that date.
Steps to staring a conversation from the ground
First,
1. Take the initiative.
For instance, don't wait for someone to start talking to you, introduce yourself.
People are usually relieved when you take the initiative. In those rare cases when they are not pleased, you know you did your best to be friendly, so the problem must be with them.
Either way, you avoid feeling shy because you are doing something, and focusing on something outside yourself.
2. Second, focus on the situation around you
You have to give up worrying about what impression you are making. You will create a much better impression by being engaged than by saying something clever. If you have to start talking on a new topic, talk about something about the immediate situation.
Try to make it positive.
If you speak in negative terms, people you do not know will tend to worry that you will be talking negatively about them next.
One word of advice: don't let your shyness show.
People can tell right away if you start talking like "Hmmm, Ahhh, Well..."
You shouldn't come on strong, but not too weak like a wimp. It's hard to describe, because each person you encounter has a different personality and there is ALWAYS a different approach to meet him.
What does it boil down to?
Be yourself.
What if you don't know him?
Well you'll have to rely on some romantic ingenuity to throw some signals his way. Whatever you do, DON'T do a "secret admirer" act. Maybe the first time, ok. But if he's not interested and you carry it on too long, you'll be disappointed.
Ideas?
Each person has a different way of interpreting things.
Well basically there are the two options:
1) Not to do anything, OR
2) Take the initiative - in which case there is the danger of rejection.
My advice is basically to talk to him about stuff:
Don't ask him out until you at least sort of know him.
That's the point. Start with just meeting him.
Then, worry about relationships. I personally advise against declaring your intentions to be either romantic or non. I'd say just go for things that sound fun, and don't worry what it's called.
But basically, just get to know him, and then decide what to do.
And, assuming you do, ask him out:
Think of some funny way to do it. Explain that your horoscope told you might be getting married, and ask him if his said the same.
How to approach guys first time?
I recommend the gradual approach like:
- Saying 'hi',
-Making some small talk, etc.
is easier to start, and you even get a better idea of what he is like, and how he feels about you.
Then write something nice and sign it " Your Secret Admirer" or " A Hopeful Friend" which ever you feel applies.
Then keep sending little notes, poems, and surprises, but don't sign your name to anything this will keep him wondering.
I'm sure it will brighten his day.
When you feel you've worked up your courage write one more note asking him out to something not to fancy but still nice, for example dinner at a certain time. This way you don't have to worry about your shyness getting in the way of asking him out.
Be careful that your shyness doesn't stop him from getting to know the real you once you do go out. After all, the other things only give him a glimpse of you.
Approach A Man – Starting Points:
I think it all comes down to one word:
" choice!"
Without even realizing it, every day, we each make hundreds, perhaps thousands of choices. Most are mundane, decided on an almost subconscious level. Focus On Meeting People And Making New Friends.
Stop worrying about what you’re going to say next when you finally started conversation. Focus all your attention and energy on listening to what the man is saying to you.
Try to visualize or “feel” what he’s saying.
This does take a little effort. It’s not very hard to do, but it’s not something that women “naturally” do. You simply have to concentrate.
Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any “seeds” or free information he happens to throw your way.
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